Wednesday, November 07, 2007
With a girl, i was twelve,
Cold, and weighed down
With two oranges in my jacket.
Beneath my steps,my breath
Before me, then gone,
As i walked toward
Her house,one whose
Porch light burned yellow
Night and day,in any weather.
A dog barked at me,until
She came out pulling
At her gloves, face bright
With rouge. I smiled,
Touched her shoulder, and led
Her down the street, across
A used car lot and a line
Of newly planted trees,
Until we were breathing
Before a drogstore.We
Entered, the tiny bell
Bringing a saleslady
Down a narrow aisle of goods.
I turned to the candies
Tiered like bleachers,
And i asked what she wanted
Light in her eyes, a smile
Starting at the corners
Of her mouth.I fingered
A nickel in my pocket,
And when she lifted a chocolate
That cost a dime,
I didn't say anything.
I took the nickel from
My pocket, then an orange,
And set them quietly on
The counter. When i looked up,
The lady's eyes met mine,
And held them, knowing
Very well what it was all
A few cars hissing past,
Fog hanging like old
Coats between the trees.
I took my girl's hand
In mine for two blocks,
Then released it to let
Her unwrap the chocolate.
I peeled my orange
That was so bright against
The gray of December
That, from some distance,
Someone might have thought
I was making a fire in my hands.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is." - Oscar Wilde
For some reason, most women are religiously dedicated to denying that they will ever marry for money; they will only marry for love. For those who claim this stance, I don't know whether to laugh at your stupidity or admire your ideals. For the few who admit they will marry for money, I am disappointed at your priorities but respect your honesty.
I am not jaded enough to believe money is the most important thing in life, but I have to admit it is up there. Money makes a considerable difference in relationships. It cannot buy love, but it buys the opportunity for it to happen. It buys you that drink at the bar so the guy has an excuse to talk to you. It buys your date the chance to take you out to dinner. It buys the opportunity for two people to have fun, interact, and to know each other under different situations. Because there are only so many walks in the park you can take before they get tiring. Love alone does not pay the rent or put food on the table. If money is an issue in a relationship, it definitely creates greater potentials for arguments.
Whoever first asked "Would you marry a rich man you don't love, or a poor man you do love" is missing the point. The question shapes us to think that love and wealth are mutually exclusive concepts; they are not. My argument is that we cannot marry purely for love or money alone; we need both to some degree - and more. There are many other factors that contribute to a successful relationship: communication, mutual understanding, family, sex, etc.
From personal experience, money has not yet become an issue in any of my relationships. However, I understand myself well enough to know that I will re-evaluate one if financial difficulties get in the way of the lifestyle I'm comfortable with. From that point on, it all depends on how much I care for him.
Most of us are not Cinderellas in a fairytale romance. Love can overcome many challenges in life; money just makes life a bit easier.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
the last tears
"why can't i stop?" i was asking myself that question when it came to an end. i kept thinking of him and crying... not knowing whether or not it had all been worth it.
we were in bed. i was lying back to the wall, front facing him. i was wondering what was going through his head. i had no way of communicating with him because we both were hurting and disconnected. it would be a waiting game to see if he would say anything. i knew i was losing him so i loosened my grip on our relationship. he had the advantage, if he wanted he could simply walk away from the relationship. i wasn't as fortunate, depending on his decision i could be alone by the time the sun rose. i would know when he spoke. his voice was beginning to become audible. my mind began to translate to my heart what was going on. as i released the last bit of hope for us i began to close my eyes. it was easy. i must have been smiling like a sad clown with a painted face, but i managed to hold the tears in. i was considerably damaged and quite drained by what lay next to me. his name was craig and he was saying "good bye."
i signed on to AIM and saw that he was sending me a message... it was my boyfriend from union city. apparently he was breaking up with me. ergh, i never had that happen to me before so i had to calm myself. i was reading his messages and i was devastated to read, "i don't think it's working out." right on the screen... why would he say that? i looked at his messages and thought more to myself... this has to be some kind of joke. this guy is one of the greatest guys i'd ever met. and man... one of the first people that i believed i loved... he at least still has some feelings for me. that made it more unbelievable for me. so i replied to him, "i'm sorry." from there crumbled that first wish.
so the question still pestered me... "why can't i stop?" i knew what i should have done, but i didn't know if that's really what i wanted to do... a lot of tears means nothing. it could have been one or thousand. who knows what he might think if he knew i had done so much crying... "he's got too much baggage," "i probably should give him another chance," "way too dramatic," "i don't ever want to see him again." so as the thought of the end of our relationship continued to dwell itself in my conscious, i expressed outwardly that it probably had been a bad idea from the start. in his own words, "pain is the world saying you didn't learn the first time." (by the way, i really didn't get it the first time he broke up with me) so i sat alone on my bed without anymore tears to cry. hmm, it would have been a happier story if i learned the first time around. so i guess the question is now... "what was i thinking?"
the first kiss
"should i do it?" i was asking myself that question when we first met. i kept looking at him and smiling... not knowing whether or not i had been making a good impression.
we met at the mall. i was standing outside of the theatres wondering if he was really going to show up. i had no way of calling him because we both didn't have mobile phones at the time. it would be a waiting game to see if he really would be there. i knew his friends would accompany him so i widened my eyes to every passing group. he had the advantage, if he didn't like what he saw he could simply continue to walk on with his friends. i was alone, depending on his reaction i could be alone that whole day. we would see when we met. a group began to approach me. i began to get nervous, clutching my bag in one hand and holding my other hand over my eyes to shade the sun from my face, i tried to look directly at him. it was difficult. i must have been squinting like an owl in sunlight, but i managed to get a good look at him. i was pleasantly surprised and quite excited at what stood before me. his name was craig and he was saying "hello."
i opened my message box on downelink and saw someone had replied to my profile... it was some guy from union city. apparently i was cute. hahaha, i rarely got that so i had to reply. i was reading his profile and i was astonished to read, "i'm sure no one would notice me." right on his page... why would he say that? i looked at his pictures and thought more to myself... this has to be some kind of joke. this guy is one of the cutest guys i'd ever seen. and man... one of the first people to openly put it out that he thought i was attractive... he's at least got some courage to approach a guy. that made him even more attractive to me. so i replied to him, "i noticed." from there launched a thousand conversations, a thousand smiles, and a thousand wishes.
so the question still fiddled in my head.... "should i do it?" i knew what he wanted me to do, but i didn't know if that's really what i should do. i mean... a first kiss means a lot. it could be make it or break it for us. who knows what he might think of me after a kiss... "he's a great kisser," "oh his breath stinks," "way too much tongue," "i want to kiss this guy for the rest of my life." so as the thought continued to nurture itself in my conscious, i expressed outwardly that it probably would be a bad idea. in my own words, "it's like a pandora's box, sometimes it's just more than what you might expect." (by the way, i'm sure this guy was getting pretty used to my analogies for everything) so we sat on my couch and put on donnie darko. hmm, it would have been an interesting movie if we had watched it. so i guess the question was now... "what did he think?"
Monday, June 25, 2007
Ziak ziak! Unuudur June 24, "37th annual San Francisco LGBT pride celebration 2007"bolov.Endee l boldog hamgiin tom uil yavdaliin neg,shine jilees hamaagui tom hehe. Za tegeed Pride iin umnuh partynuud bol ungursun doloo honogiin 5dahaas ehelsen baisan.Minii huvid bol saya ungursun 5 dah d neg garav.Ene jil Pride aar barimjaalsan toogoor hagas saya humuus gadnaas San Franciscod irsen gej baigaa. Saya 5dah d neg gay asian clubruu heden naiz nartaygaa ochson chin bagtaj chihtseldeh zaigui bolchihson suuld irsen neg naiz maani gadaa 2 tsag oocherloj huleegeed tevchihgui butschihsan baina lee.
Za tegeed unuudur heden nuhduudtey ugluu 10.30 aas uulzaldaj parade, gadna party ed nart ochih yostoi baigaad, ugluu negenruu ni yarisan chin baihgui, nuguuh hed maani uchigdur bas gay.com iin partynd yavaad ugluu 10 aas gertee irtsgeesen gej avdiin. Tegeed joohon oroihon garaad jaal date hiij baigaa huurhun zaluutaygaa ene paradnii havitsaa jaal alhav nuguu hediig huleej. Heden zurag tavilaa : )
Hot dayaaraa ene udur ene uduriig temdeglej baihad bas zarim neg religious activists bas l ajilaa hiichihsen gay=pervert geh met"ene suuliin zurag" sambar barichihsan tsagaan hooloigoor uhuulga hiichihsen baij baih yum hehe. Teriig ni humuus ch toohgui yum tegeed bayarlaldaad l.Nuguu duu hooloigoo sonsgoh erhee hezee ch hamaagui edelj l baigaa yum bailgui dee ter humuus.Nuguu l gay uud bol hamag l baliar bolohgui zuiluud, burhanaas terselsen geh utgatay. Bas tegeed oroitoogui gay baihaa bolij uuriiguu burhand daatga gesesn sanaatay. Za za ter ch yahav.Za tegeed uduriin 2 dugaar hagas, nuhuduudtey uulzaldsanaar uil yavdal urnuj baigaa gazaraar baahan yum harj yavav. Endeheer bol hotiin zahirgaaniihaa talbain umnu talbai tegeed bas oir haviinh ni gudamjuudaar duuren uil ajillagaa boldog.Nuguu naadamiin talbai l gesen ug dee. Hool und,uuh zuils, eldev yanziin surtalchilgaanii zogooluud(?). Gudamj bolgonii bulanguudad yanz buriin music, Latin, Black, Country, House geh met stageuudtey tegeed udurjinguu haluun narand galzuu yum shig bujiglev.( neeree hugshin ni oiriin uederuusuu alcohol uuhgui geer lag goyo bujiglej kaif avch suraad baigaa.Urd ni dandaa neg 2 drinknii daraa l arai gej bujigledeg baisan bol odoo gantsiig ch uuhgui haha lag gaihuulsan).Heden ch tsag zogsoo zaigui uur uur bulan orj bujiglev, hamag gar ulaan huzuu ulaan bolchihson azaar nuurendee sunscreen tavij garsan maani amind orloo tegeegui bol margaash ulaan haluu shatsan nuurtey amitan baih baihgui yu.Za tegeed ene jil oroltsoj baigaa, costumetey baigaa humuuseesee iluu uzeh gej ochson humuus ih baih shig baina lee gehdee unen goyo baisoon.
Ene daraagiin zuragnuud, neg gudamj ter chigeeree LEATHER uud baisan, tegeed end tendgui yanz buriin uzuulen geh yum uu( bi sain oilgoogui) esvel tulburt sex geh yum uu, bie bieniigee tashuurdsan humuus baisan.Joohon haalttay gesegt ni mungu tulj orvol bas yanz buriin sex uilgilhee baih shig baisan. Bid nar joohon gaihaad l. Iim olon niitiin gazar ingej bolgog yum baihdaa geed l hehe. Baahan une tarifaa bichchihsen "Penis, balls torture " ch gej baih shig haha. Ene neg huuuhen tashuurduulj baigaa tegeed manai hed gaihaj harj baigaa geh met haha
Za tegeed end heden ineedtey pics
Simon, David and Nate (Natalie?) haha
Simon the alcoholic, unegui surtalchilgaanii Tshirt umstsun bas surtalchilgaanii titem zuuchihsen sogtuu arhind ocherloj baigaa ni haha.
Ok, David the SEXY haha!
Za Thailandiig tuluulj bui Charlie and Nate : )
Bujiglej bujiglej yadarsan huuhduud.Ene Simong haraad baigaaraai.Bi buur tataj unah gej baisan, buur yadarchihsan bas deerees ni titem zuutseen bas boloogui tegeed sogtuu haha.Uuriiguu ih huurhun gej bodood baigaan haha.
Za neg iimerhuu l urt buguud hugjiltui udur bolj ungurluu! Daraa iluu detail sanaval bichye! Peace!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Aayayaya! Joohon baihdaa hamgiin durtay baisan Japan TV Drama hehe. Odoo bodhod ineedtey ch uil yavdaltai yum shig. Ter uedee ih l buhimddag baij bilee ene kinog uzeed. Uuruu hair durlaliin problemd orchihson yum shig. Gol duriin huurhun egchiig mun ih uruvddug baij bilee. Ter neg dongio zaluu ni dandaa nuguu huurhun egchiig gomdoono haha.Hamgiin gomdmoor tugsdug minii medeh kinonuudiin neg. Kinonii ehlel ni bas hamgiin goyo heseguudiinh ni neg. Duug ni end tavichihlaa.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Suuliin ued ene "Maroon5" iin "Makes Me Wonder" duug ih sonsoh durtay bolood bainaa gej. Unuudur neg naiziigaa huleeh zuuraa Virgin ii tsonhnoos ni ene zuragiig avsan yum. Ene gol duriin duuchin zaluugiin shine dur turh taalagdaj baina gej jigteihen. Urd ni neeh anzaardaggui baisan chin odoo bol chuvtan haraastay haana l yavna.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Za tegeed, zun yaaj unguruuhuu odoonoos sain bodoj bainaa. Yamar ch baisan shavaigaa hanatal PARRRTY! gej baigaam haha. Hun amitantay ih taniltsya gej bodoj baigaa. Uuriinhuu "turuliin" humuusiig iluu ih medej avah zorilgotoi hehe.
Heden nom avsan baisaniigaa unshina gej baigaam bas.
Naiz nartaygaa bas duguigaar California havitsaagaar suljine gej bas neg zuil.
Za tegeed FITTNESS ee bol tegeed oilgomjtoi, hiiye gej bodoj baina. Aerobict yavnaaaa geed uu haha. Aerobic gesenees manai Gym deer Hip Hop dance excercise class baidag yum terend ni neg yavj uzeh sanaatay. Yoga bas oroldoj joohon byasalgal ed nar hiihgui bol dotor maani joohon tortogtson yum shig baina hu hu ha ha. Manai neg dandaa yogad yavdag naiz maani uuriiguu byasalgal hiij baigaad gazraas hundiisun gej burdag gej baigaa. Odoo boltol guriideg hehe.Za ter ch yahav.
Ene zun neg buten bieiin massage nd orj uzyee ( unengeesee massagenii gazar). Deer neg gazar orson chin buruu gazaraa orchihson baisan.Silicon huhtui Vietnamese huuhen zugeer l hed nuruun deer nudarsanaa shal uur yum yariaad unasan."Honey, jaran dollart bol neg tsag hussen zuiliig chin hiiye" geed haha.Ah bas buun durgui hursen baij bas silicon huh yamarshuuhan baidagiig bariaad uztseen haha.
Neeree ingeed bicheed baisan chin goyo goyo zuiluud tolgoid orj ireh ni uu gui yu?. Er ni tegvel zun hiih yumtay yum bainoo gejuu. Neeree zunii amraltiinhaa zugaag ali hediin ehelchihsen yum baina neeree. Endehiin neg huuli bus file sharing websited orood avah yumaa olj yadaj yadaj hamgiin suuld tolgoid orj irsen zuil gesen chin Paril Hiltonii sex tape gej baigaa. Za teriigee uzchiheed uur yamar oduud tiim bichlegtey bilee? geed bodoj baisanaa bas Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee 2 iihiig bas downloadalj avsan haha.Tegeed hamgiin setgel hudulgusun ni bol Colin Farrel ahiinh bailaa haha. Bugd joohon ineedtey ch yum shig. Hamgiin ineedtey ni Parisiinh yum baina lee.Neeree zuvhun uursdduu l hiisen bichlegiig ni delhii dayaaraa uzchiheer neeree yamar baidag boloo hehe.Parisiig bol unen uruvdsun hehe. Hamgiin raw,inexperienced ni baisan. Ajiliinhaa Bryan geed zaluud ene tuhaigaa helsen chin namaig "sex addict" gedeg baina sht uuruu bas ali hediin bugdiig ni uzchihsen yum baij. Za tegeed er ni bol ner hundtey humuusiin aldagdsan sex tape uudiig tsugluuldag hobby toi boldog yum biluu?hehe. Bryan bid 2 tegeed saikhan uur heniih baidag bilee gej yariltsaad Sylvester Stallone l tolgoid orj irsen. Tegej baigaad olj avnaa geeduu. hehe.
Za za neg iimerhuu,sanaandgui baij baigaa baahan bulterchlee hehe.
(zurag: 2 jil garuin umnu Hawaiid. Ene jil Hawaii ed nar yavj chadahgui ee. Mungugui haha.Ta buhen mungu yavuulhiin bol yavaad zuragaa avhuulaad end tavII shuu! hehe lag panaaldsan)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Ene Americt barag Aziuudiin ajil bolson nail salond ajilladag huuhnuudiig eleglesen video.Ihevchlen Vietnam uud humsnii gazar ajilladag yum. Ene ohin uuruu Mexican gehdee Vietnamese English iig lag sain uzuulsen,bas ter zarim Aziudiin business hiih arga bariliig bas ineedtey uzuulsen haha.Suuliin ued eniig uzeed bas ene accentaar yarij surah geed baigaa geeluu?.Uur Englisheer yaridag oronuudad Vietnamese uud bas uur ayalgatay l yaridag baih daa. Vietnemese British English accent? haha
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Undesnii urlag gej goyo yumaa."Morning Musume" geed ene hamtlagiig nuguu l Japanese ailgui ohidiin hamtlag geed toodoggui baisan chin ene duun ni lag taalagdaj baigaa.Undesniihee huvtsasiig umsuud, undesniihee hugjim deer duulsan chin tsaanaa l neg amid, bugd neg huurhun egduutey hehe.Neg ohin ni barag 7-8 nai yumuu gemeer l haragdaj baina lag huurhun.Kimono bas tasarkhai umsgul shuu LOVE IT!
Friday, May 04, 2007
Uchigdur negen sain andaasaa sonin medee duulj mash ih bayarlav.Uursdiiguu gay gedegtee shanalj yugaa ch meddeggui baih uedee anh online taniltsaj hamag baidagaa ongichij yariltsaj bie bieneesee uram zorig avdag baisan naiz maani saya eejdee "coming out" hiichihsen baina. Bi ch tegeed yasan geed gaihaad asuusan chin eej ni mash sain oigoson genee.Bi uuruu eejdee coming out hiichihsen yum shig l bayarlav. Tegeed bas tegej sain oilgoj huleen avch demjsend ni bi buur eejiig ni teverch avch unsmeer sanagdaad hehe." Chamaig yamar hun baih ni hamaagui, hamgiin gol ni chi nudnii mini unmu eruul saruul bayar bayasgalantay baival eejid ni boloo" gesen geseniig ni sonsood buur uyaraad. Minii eejiin namaig gesen setgel ni iim baidaggui geegui l dee. Zugeer l uneheer tegej helsen gesen chin dotor neg l goyo bolood baina. Hopefully bidnii bugdiinh ni eej aav ger buliinhen maani oilgono biz dee someday. Za and mini odoo tegeed setgel sanaa uudrug az jargaltay baigaaraai! Yay!